Plan and Purpose
by E.R.H
Summary: Edith, distraught after Patrick's death, leaves Downton and goes to New York to find her self. "Whether your ready for it or want it the world is turning Edith. You can either turn with it or stay stationary."
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Here is a new fic I just randomly had an Idea for. I don't think there's anything exactly the same as this, well I hope not._

_I'm going to try not to make it like little women. Promise!_

_Edith, distraught after Patrick's death, leaves Downton and goes to New York to find her self._

_Let me know if you want me to continue._

_Thanks for reading and reviews!_

* * *

"But why do you want to go?"

Cora said quickly, slightly shocked by the sudden change in her daughters personality. She watched as Edith sorted through her large wardrobe occasionally pulling out a dress shaking her head then putting it back. What she was looking for she wasn't sure, _was she packing already_? She didn't really understand why her daughter would want to move all the way to America. Move definitely wasn't the right word to use. She was clearly hurting after Patrick had died though she would never tell her that's what she thought. She spoke again sighing and sitting down in a rather unladylike fashion on Edith's bed. She didn't know how speak to Edith. She was never one to be so drastic.

"Why America? Your grandmother would be more than happy to have you stay with her."

"A change is as good as a rest."

Edith refused to look at her mother. She knew she would crumble and give in then. Technically speaking no body had agreed to let her go, yet. She was fed up of always being pushed aside and Patrick's death had just told her one thing._ Get out of here_. She couldn't stand the countryside anymore and just needed to get away. Some where more than London. If anything she thought her family would be pleased she was leaving. She was never really part of the family. She paused for a moment a hand on one of her coats hearing her mother speak.

"London is just like new york. You could stay with aunt Rosamund."

"Mama please. I want to go. I _need_ to go."

Cora's mouth fell open unable to say anything. _When had her daughter became so determined_? _Who was she to stop her_?_ They grow up so fast_. She thought joining her daughter at her wardrobe looking at some of the long dresses hanging up, her fingers trailing along the arm of a red dress she was sure Edith had never worn. _What could she say_? Maybe it would be good to get her out of Downton for a while. She did seem to have a restricted social circle. Still new york, it was a long way. She wanted to tell Edith she thought it was a bad move and that she would regret it but she knew she would accuse her of favouring her sisters again.

"Where will you stay?"

"In a boarding house. I want to do some writing."

"A boarding house? My dear it would be a lot saner and a lot safer to do some writing right here. It's so...working class. Why the sudden want to uproot your life?"

"_Please_ mother, you sound just like granny and I don't know. I've been thinking of it for a while."

Edith's eyes came slowly to hers in a pleading look of honesty. She knew that her mother would let her go. Her father would be hard to work on but he would come round. Just so long as she didn't have to tell granny. She shivered at the thought sitting down on her bed feeling exhausted from all the grief and fraught emotions. She knew it wasn't ladylike nor expected of her but she needed to start again, find her self._ What else could she do_? Cora turned towards the door not sure what else to say. It was all settled in Edith's mind and she wasn't sure if Robert would ever agree. Edith stood, her manners told her to, as her mother made to leave hand on the door handle. She turned to her a smile on her face. To Edith it was a fake smile. A smile she put on for visitors, new staff or when she had to act pleased with her husband.

"I will speak to your father about it."

_Well that's better than nothing_. She thought sitting back down taking a moment to think it through._ I Lady Edith Crawley live in New York_. She liked the ring it had to it. _I Lady Edith Crawley write for the newspapers and have written books_. _Yes that would be grand_, smiling to herself and finally feeling her breathing grow steady and her heart rate slow down she felt better_. Maybe I do have a plan and purpose for my boring old life after all._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews and sorry if I haven't thanked you personally!_

_I have never been to new york so I don't really know what its like so sorry if I get anything wrong. I'm still a bit unsure so I've written a short chapter but I hope you like it._

_Thank you for reading._

* * *

Edith hearing the sound of a car horn woke with a start and glanced up at the unfamiliar ceiling. Struggling to see in the dark she turned on her side switching on the gas lamp, the room she was staying in looked over the street almost across the city and the soft glow of the buildings outside illuminated her wooden floor. She realised it was still dark and glancing at the clock she noted it was only nine at night. Robert had suggested that Edith at least take Mary along with her but after a lot of complaining and a lot of eye rolling on Mary's part he had relented and booked her crossing. She had been scared of going on a ship after Titanic and Patrick but she took it all in her stride. It was all very new and scary but she was rather glad she was free of her family and could be herself. Being allowed to talk to whoever and being able to do what ever she wanted, whenever she could almost made her head spin. There was one condition, that she stayed with an old friend of Cora's in their boarding house. _Strange_, she had thought, _that and old friend of mama's would even own a boarding house_. She was pleased none the less, if not slightly annoyed that they felt they needed to keep such a close eye on her. She wasn't as adventurous as Sybil nor as dangerous as Mary. She paused a slight smile lighting her features, she was in new york of course she was adventurous and dangerous. New york had the feel of a city like London but it was different. The buildings were so tall, taller than she had ever seen and the people seemed so relaxed. Everything seemed to be crammed into the smallest spaces and she was quite glad that nobody here would really know who she was. She could be whoever she wanted.

Getting up she opened the stiff window allowing the cool breeze to filter in. Leaning on the wooden sill she poked her head out. The boarding house was in a small but busy road filled with large terraced houses and lots of cars. Well three and that was a lot when you lived in the country. The house was still decorated in a Victorian style with dark wall paper, over stuffed furniture and lots of china ornaments everywhere. _Granny would have a fit in here_, she had thought with a smile feeling home sick. The houses on the street were very much like the houses in London. Large townhouses with bay windows and tree's planted outside. She didn't feel as scared as she thought she would but she did feel lost. _I'm American too I can handle this_, she told her self before deciding to explore the city. Even it was very late she would need ideas to write.

* * *

She found her self at New york harbour overlooking the Statue of Liberty only a faint glow visible from her torch but it was enough to make her smile. Leaning on the railings she stared across the water wondering what her family were up to. She cursed herself for missing them so much, they probably didn't even notice she was gone. It was fairly empty on the harbour only a few couples strolling around and turning to her right she saw the man who had been following her since she had left the house. She knew she wasn't in any danger but felt strangely bold as she caught his eye. She had told her self off for being too quiet and no matter how hard she tried she felt she couldn't change at Downton. Now was her chance. She spoke loudly looking over at him. _Why couldn't she talk to whoever she wanted_?

"Why are you following me?"

"Madame Beaumont told me to make sure you wasn't getting into any trouble but it seems you are not up to anything interesting."

He said flicking the cigarette he was smoking into the water before joining her. Edith almost felt disappointed,_ of course someone was keeping an eye on her_. She appreciated Madame Beaumont's kindness to let her stay in her house and a chance to practice her french but she felt she was watching her. She would have never thought her a friend of her mother, far too outspoken. _Was her mother like that once_? _Could she be like that_? She glanced at the young man. He was about her age, American but not from around here. He almost noticed her watching him and tugged at his clothes. She would say he was middle class maybe even working class and he was only half listening when she spoke.

"Who are you anyway?"

"Jack."

With no more of an offer of any personal information she sighed in a rather unladylike fashion and folded her arms watching him again wondering who he really was. Why he was the one to follow her. She turned her head slightly bemused as he climbed over the metal railings before sitting down wobbling slightly, his legs dangling above the murky waters below. He turned to her, seeing the expression on her face he laughed before turning back, looking out at the darkness. She spoke leaning over the railings, her hands freezing on the cold metal, trying to meet his eye. She so badly wanted to change, wanting to feel different. _Would that happen_? _Would the fire in her that had been laid but never lit finally have a chance to burn_?

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying the view. You gonna join me?"

"No." She said leaning back, glad to have her feet on the ground. She was not that adventurous. _Yet_.

"That's why I never visited England. You English are far too uptight."

"I don't see what is uptight about not wanting to fall off a harbour." She said rather angrily folding her arms again causing his expression to soften as he offered her his hand.

"I promise you wont fall."

She eyed up his hand torn as she glanced round._ For god sake Edith, Patrick is dead and I bet he never sat on the edge of a harbour_. Smirking at the thought she took his hand and rather shakily climbed over the railings now feeling sick before sitting down, one of her hands firmly holding on to the bar she was sitting on. Realising she still held his hand she let go blushing as she did so. The water looked almost black like a diamond and glancing up she saw all the stars were out. This wasn't helping her find ideas for her writing at all, nor helping her fear of heights. Jack pulled out a cigarette from under his cap, offering one to her which she refused. He smiled slightly as she looked rather scared. _You do this a lot don't you_? She wanted to ask but she was feeling rather cold and was trying hard to stop her teeth from chattering.

"What would happen if I did fall?" She asked looking down at the water.

"You would die. At least then your name would be in the newspapers."

"Yes but not as a publisher, not as a writer."

She said rather sad wondering what would happen if she did die as Patrick had. Freezing waters and no one to save her. She was sure Jack wouldn't jump in after her. _Would anyone be sad_? She tore her eyes away from the water, her breath misting as it caught the air. Wondering why it was so cold in May she kept her eyes steady on the statue as Jack spoke again trying and failing to light his cigarette.

"Madame Beaumont says you're a writer. What have you written?"

"Lots of things."

"Your not one of those thinker writers, are you? The ones that just think about things they want to write but never do because their scared of what people would think."

"I will write what I want. Its none of your business."

She felt rather hurt as she stuck out her chin releasing her grip slightly but not brave enough to let go completely. Swimming was not on her to do list while in the city. Writing was still a dream and not one she liked to talk about too much. She felt embarrassed. Giving up he shook his head placing the cigarette behind his ear before talking again glancing over his shoulder at the empty harbour.

"No it's not but I am of the belief that to write you must have some experience of life."

She thought for a moment before turning to him pulling some loose hair away from her face. "I don't believe that so."

"How can you write a passionate love affair if you have never felt that way? How can you write a great adventure if you have never taken one? You need to live in order to feel that connection to what your writing."

"Are you a writer?" She asked shyly now swinging her legs as he had. She frowned as he jumped back on to dry land.

"We best be getting you back before madame starts to worry."

Accepting his hand she turned round getting down,managing to stay up right with her skirt down. She was feeling rather pleased. She had done something new. Not very exciting to many people but the old Edith, the Edith she was trying to forget would have never done that. Following him across the large street she spoke feeling rather confident.

"Whats your story?"

"Don't have one."

"Everyone has one."

"Not me."

He stopped turning to her. She almost fell into him and gazed up realising how tall he really was. He smirked at her before shaking his head looking down at the floor. He had seen many an English rose in the house but this one was..._different_. All of them had come to the harbour but none had sat with him like she did. He looked at her again more seriously, noticing she was shivering.

"A few friends of mine are going to a party tomorrow night you should come. Might help with this experience thing."

"I don't know if that's appropriate ."

He sighed shaking his head again taking his coat off before draping it over her shoulders. Watching him walk off home, she stood frozen to the spot. _Had she said something wrong_? Looking down at her gloved hands pulling on his woolen coat she wondered if she should follow him. _Why must she get everything wrong_? Surely going to a party with a man alone would not help her write. _Would it_? Hearing him call out now looking back she looked up the glow of the street lights making everything orange.

"Whether your ready for it or want it the world is turning Edith. You can either turn with it or stay stationary."


End file.
